Lessons from 2025

Looking back at 2025

I’ve never really done this over the last couple of years but this year’s given me more than I could possibly have imagined about 2-3 years ago - and tbh Im genuinely terrified for what lies ahead for me. It has also irrevocably taken some things away, which I like to tell myself has inevitably culminated in the person I am today (for better or for worse). Not gg too deep into the specifics.

I find myself to be speaking from an extremely fortunate place, with the opportunities I’ve had, the people I’ve met and am grateful for. The universe has its way of finding its equilibrium and bringing balance into our lives one way or another it seems. Definitely not in any sort of religious/faithful way but I’ve learnt to agnostically respect that there’ll always be karmic resonance in every action or inaction in our lives, not just within ourselves but extending to the world which directly surrounds us. Although I think it’s extremely arrogant to claim that we have complete control of our own lives and even less our soul. I do feel like things have changed in the sense where living has become something for me to confront rather than to simply ‘live’.

At some point though I ask myself  if it’s a universal experience that everyone goes through, or whether I’ve become so jaded by everything. I also don’t know if maturing is coming to terms that there’ll always going to be an element of inevitability in the eventual ego death we’ll all experience. If it’s never happened to you I genuinely have no means of explaining or illustrating how that might be. The intensity of the disillusionment with the self, like I woke up into a completely different body or just someone else entirely has been so utterly soul-shattering, and making me realise how fragile our sense of identity actually is. Simultaneously I’ve never felt more free and liberated ever in my life

Perhaps making the conscious choice to live our lives is to navigate between this dichotomy; constantly realigning with the self rather than actively seeking purpose, meaning or trying to control outcomes. I guess a non-nihilistic approach would be to seek respite in the very concept that an eventual equilibrium always forms, even if intangible.

Definitely not in any sort of religious/faithful way but to agnostically respect that there’ll be karmic resonance in every action or inaction in our lives, not just within ourselves but the world that surrounds us. I think it’s quite arrogant to claim that we have complete control of our own lives and our soul, when the very elements that shape us from birth are inherently external.

Or maybe an alternative to all of this is to stop expecting life to hand us a predefined sense of purpose. Meaning doesn’t always arrive as a revelation and sometimes it forms gradually, as the mind finds a resting point between chaos and clarity Perhaps that is really enough; to live with humility toward the forces that shape us, to respect the quiet resonance of our choices, and to trust that even if we can’t control everything, we can still find balance within the inevitable shifts of becoming.

To reject what makes up the “self” and indulge purely in the everyday experience, not just the ones that give us the instantaneous dopamine rush but equally as much in the virtue of working hard towards a tangible goal, is in itself a luxury to me.

Ive realised that I’ve been seeing things with an unconscious bias since not everything would adhere to the idea of what a person or circumstances should be like and act out in a way that I wanted. That itself chains me to the cause-and-effect of me becoming the very thing I’ve been consciously trying to avoid. I believe everyone projects our deepest insecurities, our deepest fears and traumatic experiences one way or another, by adopting some kind of public persona to bolster that internal lack of faith. From reflecting all this, to typing it out and then sharing it - Im still equally shackled to the self-judgements and the desire to be understood as any other human being (and that’s relieving to me). To devoid myself of empathy and intentional vulnerability would be a tragedy and a death worse than physical death.

I do genuinely hope more people can appreciate the pure childlike fascination and unpolluted perception they have left of the world. Something that’s free from preconceived judgements which forces and moulds us into an identity that might lack the depth of the real innate desires we have. Imo, the very ideas that we hyper fixate on are the exact ones that traps us in a conflicting identity (from our core beliefs).

50+ lessons from 2025

1. I’ll better organise my work - I’ll write down what I have to complete, as checklists, make a timetable, be disciplined and stick through(part time, personal projects, tuition)
2. My current family, academic, relationship situation does not define who I am forever and should never hold me back from trying new things. (Refer to Invictus by William Henley)
3. I’ll focus on one thing at a time - trying to do too much things to trying to prove myself doesn’t work.
4. No one really truly cares about how and why I do some things. DO NOT expect anyone to understand your mind the way you do.
5. Always be in control of my emotions - especially the negative ones. Never say or do anything I’d regret after sleeping.
6. I’ll always try to listen more than I talk. There’ll always be more things to listen to and learn from others than what I already know.
7. When the time comes for me to talk, take charge and be confident. I can be wrong and don’t be afraid to be corrected.
8. Always maintain a certain level of rational skepticism/healthy cynicism, to new ideas, new investment opportunities, my expenses, and above of all things PEOPLE.
9. I’ll slow down and think 3 times before I open my mouth, or react in a certain way to my loved ones. My reactionary responses and emotions should not take precedence over the fact of the matter.
10. I’ll never let my current financial situation to define me for where I will be in the next 2,3,5 or even 10 years. It can always turnaround for much better or much worse.
11. I’ll always listen to more music and read more, as much as I can irregardless of genre or style.
12. I’ll get back to exercising regularly again, even 30 mins a day. And eat healthy. A healthy body and mind is the greatest gift give to me by my parents, it’s my responsibility to upkeep it.
13. I’ll meet more like-minded people to discuss my passions, my interests.
14. It’s always not too late to catch up with old friends or mentors. But don’t approach them with the expectation that they’ll have the time for you.
15. I should stop leaving people on unread for days or double-ticked for unreasonable period of time. I’m really not THAT busy and no one is.
16. I’ll always start/end the day with genuine and happy goodnight, goodmorning to my family. My family will always be a major part of why I do what I do, and how I do things.
17. Eventually at the end of the day we’re all lonely people and come to acceptance that true, greatest strength comes from embracing solitude.
18. Don’t wait for luck. We’re always lucky to some extent. We just aren’t ready when luck comes around - and always count the small lucky encounters. I’ve been so lucky to have the people in my life and be in the circumstances I am in right now.
19. Sigh less, and breathe slower
20. I’ll be more observant to my surroundings, notice the small details and write them down if I cant remember them. Especially others’ dislikes and likes.
21. I’ll never lie to myself before anyone else. Always tell the truth to myself and admit it when things go wrong
22. I’ll remind myself everyday that I don’t owe my life to only myself.
23. Who am I to judge anyone, when I myself am imperfect
24. I’ll not run away from my problems, be avoidant or in denial of my current situation or any conflicts I might find myself in
25. We’re always literally a step away from death. Always appreciate the gift of mortality and appreciate everyday life.
26. I don’t think we should ever give up on something we can’t go a day without thinking about. Be it relationships, or any passions.
27. I’ll be more patient with myself - I’m still quite young and youth itself is my greatest asset. Always remember that I’m at my the youngest self TODAY. Eventually the time will come when number 27 might not apply.
28. I’ll always remain my biggest critic and be receptive to new things and changes. Change is imminent, unavoidable but adaptability is also a gift.
29. There’ll always be good times and equally bad times.
30. I’ll never hurt myself or allow myself to be hurt by the things outside my locus of control. Things never go the way we went. But reality’s rarely as bad as how we make it up to be in my our minds, or at least I’ve so far been lucky enough to feel that way.
31. I’ll always love genuinely and be truthful at all times.
32. Spend more time with my family at home. My parents are also at their youngest today.
33. I’ll cry when I have to and when I need to. But I’ll never allow myself to drown in self-pity nor hatred and resentment.
34. We can win, but it’s more likely we’ll lose.
35. Always speak up, not just for myself but for my loved ones - protect them above all else.
36. I’ll never let my ego stop me from apologising to anyone. Apologise when I need to, say I’m sorry, but never over-apologise or apologise when I don’t 100% mean it.
37. Also remind myself that I do this for myself. No one else.
38. Always be polite. And always thank others.
39. I don’t have to always compare myself with others. They’re all successful and suffering in their own ways. I don’t know half their stories or perspectives.
40. I’ll do things spontaneously more often. but there’ll always be trade-offs and consequences whether I like it or not.
41. People and pets eventually get sick and die. It WILL happen without exception to anyone. Be nicer to them.
42. Always try to understand the ‘how’ and ‘why’ of things happening.